Fuck You Anti-Artsy

Dear Art, English, Music and History Majors,
Please stop complaining about not having jobs. Your major only included about 60 credits and you
had time to go out on weekends. We're even.
Sincerely, A Physics Major.


My initial response:

Dear majors that aren't in the art field bitching about us,

You really think because you have 4 lab classes a semester and have to read text books fatter than your abnormally large head instead of getting do a keg stand with Freddy Fraternity over at the pig roast on Friday night that that entitles you to think lesser of us? Lemme tell ya what I did for my "slacker" degree senior year--

19 credits (that's over a full schedule of classes, but you're the "smart kids" so I figure you'd understand that), a full-time unpaid internship where I had to do all my regular duties of 10 hours a week photographing and then editing the results ad nauseum in the dark in addition to being a roadie, a stunt double, a nanny, a punching back, a prop, a tripod, and a muse to the people I worked for and did it all w/patient strength and pizazz. Also, I wrote a 32-page thesis of the cross-cultural archetypes within modern and classical mythologies and theologies with over 2 pages of--single spaced--BOOKS I used as significant references, none of which started with "Cliffnotes" or ended with "for Dummies". 32 pages not enough? Well, try doing that in addition to two major art exhibitions which you have to create, fund, prepare, cater, mount, and present on your own time and money (which these shows took up a significant amount of both). One of which was the second part of my thesis and the other was a highly competitive spot as the top artist at the school. Within days of the exhibit I also had to create a 30-minute professional presentation of my work in relation to the thesis for a panel of 5 professors and professional artists who will critique and decide whether I graduate. Oh, and I also directed, produced, cast, costumed, and set-designed/constructed a two act, 22-cast member play on top of it all, as well as write 6 plays of my own, 2 published essays, and made it out of my school career w/honors.

You want to complain about weekends? I didn't sleep for a semester, AND I didn't have weekends, but I still managed to retain a successful academic career and a social life throughout. Suck my balls "real world" students. Find someone else to cry to cuz you can't make it work, because I don't care.

Sincerely,
The Photographer w/Hypothetical Balls


PS: Next time you find yourself taking Facebook pictures w/your Nikon or Canon that you bought with the money you got from your passionless drone career, remember that doesn't make you a photographer. It makes you a fucking amateur idiot w/a nice camera. And take it off the Automatic setting, you jackass, you're an embarrassment to yourself and everything you "photograph".